Have you ever broken something precious and attempted to glue it back together? Maybe you’ve had a very sentimental trinket that has been broken more than once over time, and you’ve continuously repaired it. Even though the cracks remain visible, and to others your priceless possession may have lost its value, you treat it with more care than ever. Because you may know that while the imperfections add character, they also increase the fragility. This is how our emotional health works as well.
Vulnerabilities Equal Connections
We all have our broken places that we’ve mended in one way or another. Our imperfections make us human and each one can be where love and light seep in if we allow it. Essentially, imperfections create vulnerabilities, and being vulnerable is the way that real and meaningful connections are formed.
One of the most important aspects of an emotionally healthy life is the possession of effective tools to cope with the things that hurt. For some, it is a long journey to find coping mechanisms because what worked yesterday may not be as effective today. Or maybe we spent a long time using ineffective tools (i.e. alcohol) and now must still fix the original ‘break’ plus the collateral damage.
Just as a repaired vase must be cautiously taken down from the shelf and carefully dusted (if you do that sort of thing), our emotional health should be treated with the same level of care.
Assign Your Own Value
Most of us have at least one person who made us feel that we weren’t worth the effort because of our flaws or brokenness. It may have felt like they threw us away or gave up on believing in our value. But they don’t actually determine our value or our worthiness of self love. A common mistake we make is waiting around for a feeling of worthiness to wash over us. It won’t happen. Or, if it does, it will be temporary. A really poor source to look to, to assign us value, is pretty much anyone other than your own damn self. I’m speaking to you, seventeen year old me.
Becoming worthy starts with a decision. A decision that we make for ourselves. Once you make the choice, don’t stop. Keep choosing it over and over again. Slowly, you’ll begin to cultivate your days and your surroundings to fit your new narrative. We can choose to spend our time with encouraging and uplifting people. We can cultivate our playlist with music that feeds our new mindset.
Broken Vases Need Refilling
Some days you will doubt yourself. Just as water seeps through the cracks of a broken vase and must be refilled, your well being will require regular maintenance. You might try setting an alarm on your phone to remind you to take moments for yourself throughout the day. At 10 p.m. every night my phone sends me a notification that says “Remember who you are”. It recharges my spirit even after a rough day.
I enjoy learning from other’s experiences. What do you do to replenish when your feeling broken? Let’s make this a conversation by leaving a message below.